i <3 nyc

i &lt;3 nyc

Random Thought

Writing works one of two ways. Either you get people to stop talking to you and asking you questions about your feelings and what you’re thinking because they just wait for the next post or they start asking questions you don’t want to answer so they can reach whatever half ass conclusion of whatever they want to believe they know or understand about you. Which would you prefer?

What Am I Doing?

What am I doing? A question I ask myself daily now. I question everything I do and everything I put up with and all my decisions I make. The uncertainty of not knowing if you’re doing the right thing constantly is tiresome. It wears you down and makes you feel unappreciated and broken down. It’s not fun feeling a knot in your throat and a pit in your stomach as soon as you open your eyes. How do you break away from that? How do you regain confidence in yourself again? I know there’s no easy answer or way to do it. Some would argue that you just make the choice to do it and that’s that. Seems easy enough. But God it’s so difficult. Some things you just can’t let go off no matter how hard you try. No matter how damaging it is to you. They’re just there. So what am I doing? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I struggle to make the changes I know deep down I have to make. It should be pretty common sense to get rid of the things that make you feel that way right? Sure, it might take you out of your comfort zone and nothing is certain. I’m just so tired though, I don’t want to be unhappy or feel sadness anymore. I just want it to go away. I’m tired. Everything I’ve done feels like such a sham. They say positive thoughts bring positive things your way…ha. Sure it does. Life is a house of cards, one bad gust or move and it all comes tumbling down. I’ve tried rebuilding that house of cards so many times already and I’ll keep doing it but…I’m tired.

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While Ferguson mourns Michael Brown, Canada shrugs off Tina Fontaine’s death

Mafa:

Native lives matter. Stephen Harper is a disgusting human being. 1,200 indigenous women have been murdered or have gone missing and its swept under the rug time and time again every time this happens. I keep saying it but…something HAS to change.

Originally posted on canada.com:

The service started Monday at 10 a.m. at the Friendly Temple Missionary Baptist Church, fittingly located on Dr. Martin Luther King Drive in the heart of St Louis. Brown’s uncle, the Reverend Charles Ewing, delivered the eulogy. But even now, nearly three weeks after his death, it seems unlikely that the fury over the shooting of Michael Brown is in any way abating.

Some have opined that the chaos that emerged following Brown’s death stemmed from the self-fulfilling nature of police militarization: an example of what happens when a trigger-happy and over-equipped police force is sent in to corral and contain a comparatively helpless public. Others have suggested that the impetus is economic, a protest borne of anger over the ever-expanding racial disparities in income in America – where a typical white household can expect to be 20 times more affluent than its black counterpart. All of these are…

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Aaliyah – The One I Gave My Heart To

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?
How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?
Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.
If You Love Me, How Could You Hurt Me Like That?
How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?
How Could The One Who Said I Love You, Say The Things You Say?
How Could The One I Was So True Too, Just Tell Me Lies?
How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break This Heart Of Mine?
Tell Me……..
How Could You Be So Cold To Me? When I Gave You Everything.
All My Love, All I Had Inside.
How Could you Just Walk Out The Door?
How Could You Not Love Me Anymore?
I Thought We Had Forever.
I Cant Understand.
How Could The One I Shared My Dreams With, Take My Dreams From me?
How Could The Love That Brought Such Pleasure, Bring Such Misery?
Wont Somebody Tell Me? Somebody Tell Me Please.
If You Love Me, How Could You Do That To Me?
Tell Me……..
How Could you Just Walk Out The Door?
How Could You Not Love Me Anymore?
I Thought We Had Forever.
I Cant Understand.
*How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?
How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?
Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.
If You Love Me, How Could You Hurt Me Like That?*
How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?
How Could The One Who Said I Love You, Say The Things You Say?
How Could The One I Was So True Too Just Tell Me Lies?
*How Could The One I Gave My Heart To…..
How Could The One I Gave My Heart To….
How Could The One I Gave My Heart To Break This Heart of Mine?
Tell Me……..