First I would like to start off by thanking you for creating a wonderful social networking site that brings people together with family, friends, and their community. It helps small businesses grow, and lets us create communities that suit our personal interests. We can spend time relaxing and talking with friends, or sit back and play some games with all the apps you have for us.
I know that you cant ever really be ready for unpleasant events, that’s what makes them unpleasant right? The fact they literally knock your feet from right under you. You end up landing on your ass, might sit there and lick your sore spots a bit but goddammit you get up after and shake that shit off. No sense in lamenting yourself or waiting for things to pass on their own, just keep going. Somebody close to me has been telling me recently that no matter what I just have to go on with my life…well yea, life doesn’t stop for anyone or anything does it? Often times we end up watching it run circles around us because we literally sit in one spot and just watch it go as we brew in whatever hurt, bitterness or disloyalty was inflicted on us. You can’t let life bring you down, you have to grab it by the reigns and take control of that bitch! Life does what you want it to, especially yours…YOU CONTROL YOUR DESTINY. Sure, I believe in God. I believe that there are consequences to all the choices we make, good or bad, but OUR choices nonetheless. I don’t believe God is as omnipotent as they make him/her/it out to be. The best thing we were given was free will, it’s the harshest and most beautiful quality we have as a species besides the ability to love. So take charge, keep going and never stand still.
I’m in love. I’m in a new love relationship and it is sweet. In fact, it’s many things, like any relationship.
When I’m in love, I feel so alive, so full, so rich. In making love with this new love, I’m being asked to open my heart and body to an ever deepening experience of vulnerability and tenderness. I’m being asked to savor life through this body, and to trust that, even though being in this woman’s body feels exceedingly vulnerable, there is also a gorgeous richness and ripeness available to me precisely because I am alive in this female body.
This is the edge I’ve always felt as a woman – the edge between the possibility of living a life of deep-feeling and sensuality, the full expression of eroticism, and the vulnerability that seems to be inherent in living life in a woman’s body – a body in which we receive our lover into ourselves. I don’t know about you, but to me this edge is where aliveness happens, where the rawness of life touches me in a most human way.
I suppose it is much like a flower. When petals open to the sun, the flower shows its most tender and vulnerable places, and it is in this opening to life that we get to experience the full, rich beauty of the flower. I have a not-so-secret love affair with flowers, for just this reason. I am drawn into them because of the stark contrast between their softness and the harsh world in which they grow. They are both luminous and numinous, one of the most beautiful examples of the ephemeral nature of life here on earth.
As I deepen into my new lover, I am beginning to open, a little more willingly each day, to feeling this ephemeral experience of life, knowing that this, too, won’t last forever. Every relationship ends at some point. As I learn to trust what my lover offers me each day, I also open to the realization that I have just as much to offer to my lover and there is no point in holding back my gifts.
This is the exchange of giving and receiving that love and life are truly about. It isn’t about staying open all the time; rather it is tuning into the dance of the heart that opens and closes, into the breath that comes and goes, into the rhythms of the moon that waxes and wanes.
To open in this way, I’m having to question many of the beliefs I’ve held about the nature of exchange, the exchange inherent in giving and receiving. I’ve had deep fears that I would have to give so much away in order to receive; that receiving put me in a position of weakness; that I was a better person if I gave more than I got; that I had to earn everything I was offered; and that all some people want to do is take.
All of these beliefs cause me to see the world in a way that is distorted, and that causes me to not trust others or my own natural neediness as a human being. They caused me not to trust life, itself.
When we create and express and share this prosperity with the world through our work and love, we come into flow, the flow of eroticism in a physical world that is alive and pulsing with abundant prosperity.
Yes, life, itself, is my new love. Life is teaching me how to receive and in this teaching, I am learning how to give in a healthier way. This is the most erotic, sensual, sexual dance I’ve danced. Life is in a constant state of arousal, constantly in the arc of orgasm, coming into being, letting go into death.
Here, in this dance, I’m discovering prosperity, for what could be a more prosperous life that living the full arc of creation – both many, many times, and one big long arc of a life fully lived, fully alive?
Here, in this dance, I’m really discovering how to be fully in relationship with myself, finding the dance of the feminine and masculine with me, the giving and receiving, the pulsing out and the drawing into.
I’m not saying it is easy, nor that I do it perfectly. But I am learning to come back to the dance. To open once again. To say yes to this lover.
Can you feel it? Can you feel this arc of orgasm in your own life? This is a kind of prosperity that can never be taken away, can never be lost, can never lose its sheen in the light of your own heart and soul. The abundance of life is all around us, an abundance that lives and dies, comes and goes. None of it is ours, nor was it ever ours. We neither deserve it, nor do we not deserve it. It is life. Giving and receiving allows us to participate in this flow for as long as we are here. That, in itself, is enough.
(via Julie Daley)
So for the past few months I’ve been on the hunt for work and MY GAWD this shit has been hectic! Maybe I’m being too picky about what I’m applying for, maybe the fact that I’ve been out of work as long as I have has made me a less attractive candidate for some of these jobs, maybe employers need to suck it up and take a day or two to train new employees! Well, whatever the reason, am I wrong for being a little picky about what kind of job or position I’m going to end up in? A lot of times we have to make the sacrifice and take whatever we can get and believe you me I’ve been there and am willing to do it now as a temporary thing but considering all the things that I have pending to do I need a good full time, permanent job! This shit is stressful. Its definitely an uphill battle but I just have to take on that little engine mentality and keep at it.
Needless to say I’ve had to overcome tremendous challenges whilst being unemployed, financially, emotionally and mentally. Its no wonder people were offing themselves during the Great Depression. Now over the past few years my whole religious faith thing has wavered, its very fickle. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in God…if i didn’t I don’t know where I’d be right now. At the end of the day though its on me to get up, dust off and keep going. To be very honest with you I feel somewhat guilty now asking God for help, like He is going to hear my plea and kiss his teeth at me and think “Look at this backslider begging for my help now after she turned her back on me” O_O. Too much? You get my drift though.
As hard as its been though I’m lucky to be able to say that, I’m happy. Very happy. I guess big dude upstairs did cut me some slack and gave me one of the best things he’s ever given me. Someone that loves me just as much if not more then I love him. Whatever the chemistry is that happens when you’re in love its food for the soul. I will have a successful future, its inevitable. I am already prospering in the important things, love, health and happiness for first and foremost my kids (lets face it, as a parent if your children are lacking in any of these you can’t possibly be satisfied with life) and myself. So right now the blueprint has big things on it! Working, marriage, school, some big moves. Anyways that’s a little bit of whats been going on with me since I know its been awhile since I’ve really written anything. “…and as always, we wish you love, peace and soul!”
A Nutella, Double Chocolate & Banana Tart for the Annual World Nutella Day. Be still my heart! Has there ever been a happier, more delicious convergence of ingredients? I think not, though perhaps adding a little peanut butter into the mix would have made it even more enticing... if that is possible. That's right, today February 5th is World Nutella Day.