So I’ve managed to catch the “Fifty Shades Fever” that has been going around and have come to the realization that a little erotica can in fact go a long way in a relationship. Lets face it, the majority of women have a very hypocritical view when it comes to pornography, myself included sometimes…most of the time. We have a problem with our husbands and boyfriends jerking off to some big breasted, silicone lipped, fake ass, weave wearing bimbo. Porn was made to cater to whatever bukkake, anal probing, kinky fetish, raw fucking fantasies people may have. I watch it now and then, i mean its there, right at your fingertips (thank you worldwide web). With that said though, I think women are less visual. Like me for example, I’d rather read erotica and make my own movie in my head. I feel its more sensual and well, more realistic. No plastic titties or cock rings in anyone’s face. You are able to put your own face to the characters, perhaps yours and your partners? Instead of a “realistic” version of a blow up doll. I think sex columnist Violet Blue described it best, “Porn is something that is a graphic sexual image that conjures up an animalistic reaction in you. You like it or you don’t,” she says. “Erotica also is graphic sexual imagery, but it has an extra component or several extra components that resonate with the viewer—be it artistic, be it passionate, be it something that emotionally engages you, be it something that parlays into a fantasy that you have about sexuality or the way that you relate to the people on screen.”
I think the shitty part is when women start feeling uncomfortable with themselves because of things like porn. Sadly, the signals that allow men and women to find the partners who most please them are scrambled by the sexual insecurity initiated by beauty thinking. A woman who is self-conscious can’t relax to let her sensuality come into play. If she is hungry she will be tense. If she is “done up” she will be on the alert for her reflection in his eyes. If she is ashamed of her body, its movement will be stilled. If she does not feel entitled to claim attention, she will not demand that airspace to shine in. If his field of vision has been boxed in by “beauty”–a box continually shrinking–he simply will not see her, his real love, standing right before him. I believe that through erotica women can find that sense of empowerment they need to overcome these self-image conundrums, it allows a woman to be a dom or the sub, the damsel in the distress or the bad girl off the streets. It stirs that “inner goddess” and brings her out to play, whether you’re playing solo or partnered up. So keep your erotica close ladies and permit yourself to do a little role playing. To me porn is ugly, that’s pretty much it, I don’t like it. Give me a good erotica book though and everybody comes out a winner 
