So far I’ve known a few people and some have come in and out of my life with incredible ease. Though some departures and endings of friendships have affected me in the past, I tend to learn the lesson and move on.
I’ve noticed that no matter the age and gender it happens- obviously.
The reasons behind the finale to some friendships can be so silly or so serious. But I think of a few types of ending that stick out in my mind. Tell me if you know what I’m talking about.
One ending can simply be social status. I’ve been part of the middle class my whole life and I’ve paid no mind. But I’ve managed to lose some friends because it was so clear they thought themselves to be better than me. Considering this was the case throughout all of elementary school (another story for another entry) I was hoping to avoid it in high school. But alas, not the case. She came from a decent wealthy Portuguese family who thought themselves to be incredibly important. This girl though had a particular fascination with the lower middle class Hispanic community. Which is why she befriended me I think. I got along with her, but at times her subliminal racial comments made me actually feel uncomfortable. I’ve always been proud of my race and my friends that I’ve grown up with have never been foolish enough to utter a single word about stereotypes for Latinos. This girl on the other hand, had an incredibly awkward conversation with her mother while i was in the car.
We were on our way to go watch “Meet the Robinsons” with her little sister. We were going to yorkdale on a Friday night which is the night where all the mall rats came out to play. They usually hung out around the movie theatre and met up with their clique. I was in the car with my friend the sis and the mom. And so, the conversation begins”
“Sascha, please do me a favor. If you are going there to watch a movie with your sister, please make sure to take care of her. And please don’t bring her around any of that filth that hangs out around the mall.”
“Mom, don’t worry. All the Spanish people are at a party tonight. No ones there.”
Once again people, may I remind you that I am in the car! So of course I have to say something because not only did i feel incredibly belittled and insulted, I felt the need to say something! Shit I’m Spanish!
“Um, I’m sorry but..I’m Spanish. What’s that supposed to mean?” I wasn’t apologizing for being Spanish, but I was willing to give them the benefit of that doubt that I misunderstood. They exchange glances quickly and begin to stumble- oops! I mean clarify and justify their racial slip of the tongue.
“Oh Sophie, she didn’t mean just the Spanish people.”
“Oh no of course not! I’m talking about all those people that hang out at that mall. The Spanish, the black people, the white people-“
Her little sister “The green people, the purple people.” And they all laughed and went along with talking about something else.
I did not find what her little sister said cute in the least! I’m sorry but that was irony at its best. If you can’t pick up how that’s ironic, please realize that this innocent thing is a racist and she doesn’t even know it.
Her daughter dated the trash and filth that she speaks of. An Ecuadorian, a Mexican and a Nicaraguan. Her hand has been elbow deep in Spanish “filth”. She loved the thugs.
Now this wasn’t the end of the friendship. But this is definitely a memory that I will never forget. It was like a foreshadowing event that told me, I wouldn’t be friends with her for long.
Some people lose friends over boys, over social status and over miscommunication. People are too proud at times to admit they misunderstood and that they were wrong. Some people forget where they even come from.
I know of someone who is very dear to my heart, that had a friend tell her possibly the most selfish arrogant things ever. Someone who came from the hood, and I mean THE HOOD. She now works and does her thing. She has blamed “my dear someone” of losing the spark in her life due to her pregnancies. Please read that line over. Can you tell that she’s a single working woman with no maternal instincts.
She doesn’t fall into the demographic that “my dear someone” falls under. She is a single mom with two girls. She pays for her daughters food, clothes, dance classes and so much more. How dare this person even say a single word to her? She has changed. Everyone has. Friends always do. Sometimes they change so much, that you can’t even call them friends.
Everyone has the experience of losing a friend. I have enough stories that I can base this blog on simply that. But I’d rather not.
Sophie 101: Understand that when a friendship ends, there is always room for another one. Though the time might be sad, it ended for a reason. Something went wrong. Accept and move on.