I’m trying to be positive, I really am…it’s sooo hard though! Feels like I’m oozing negativity right now. In my words, thoughts, actions…EVERYTHING! Nothing is going right, it feels like when I start building up my house of cards something comes along and makes it collapse, completely crumble into itself…or at least that’s how I feel inside. Like I’m crumbling, collapsing into myself. I start feeling anxious, panicking and completely helpless. WTF is wrong with me?!?! On top of everything I’m dealing with financially I also have to fight this incredibly profound sadness and sense of loss that has taken over my life. Not cool. I’m so not impressed with myself right now…i don’t know who I am anymore! I feel like I’m asphyxiating, like I CAN”T BREATHE!