Well the weather outside is frightful, but shopping is so delightful. So you decide to go to the mall and possibly purchase gifts for people or for yourself. Even though you aren’t too crazy about Xmas, you feel like you can appreciate it today. Your not at work being forced to listen to it, and you can walk into another store and not have to hear it. You are ogling at a window display and wonder why the mannequins always look better in the damn clothes, and you turn to leave.
“Oops sorry I didn’t mean to-” pause. More pause. A little more. Oh. My. God. Out of all people to bump into, you had to run into this person. THIS PERSON. “Wasn’t the last time I saw him/her at – oh Jesus why did I have to remember that? Is that why this feels so friggin uncomfortable? Quick say something!” What you thought was a minute of awkward silence, was really a 3 second pause- maybe less. But the jitters have settled. You both say hey at the same time and start asking “hoooww aree youu?” in the same tone. That made it even more weird, so you give that person a chance to answer and smile. They chuckle and give you the same courtesy. Fuck. Now you two are standing there with the fakest smiles ever. Your all teeth and you wonder if it looks forced. Meanwhile the other one holds the smile of Mona Lisa. Another eternity of silence ( actually maybe like another 4 seconds) and you recover. You mention how your working and going to school. Also how you discovered a cure for some sickness in a third world country. Okay, well maybe you don’t say that, but fuck you’re not gonna sound like “Generic Eric” or “Snoozy Susie. You gotta sound alive and driven. They are, of course pleased to hear that you are doing so well; forced grin and all. You mentally pat your back and promise yourself you’re gonna buy something nice for you.
They tell you briefly about their lives. They work as well and are now CEO of some huge company (well not exactly but eeeh you get it). You congratulate them and wish them the best. Now comes the friends in common chat. This is a bit more entertaining since nothing brings people closer than gossip. Oh shut up, you know its true. “So she’s pregnant.” “:O GTFOH! Who’s the baby daddy? Him?” “Nope its the other one.”
“:O No way. Well I heard he was in jail last time.” “Oh well its cause him and her got into a domestic dispute over him.” “Jeez that’s horrible. Well thank god we are making an honest living eh?”
And, can it be? That’s right! The awkwardness is back. What else to say? You’re already bored and you feel like its time to finish the pleasantries. :O asshole! Did he/she just yawn? Should I stretch to show I’m bored? Hell no! I’m finishing this right now. (A second passed) you check your phone, give a short gasp and give a classic excuse. They give a sigh of relief and say they have somewhere to be. One of you goes for a hug and the other just waves. “Oh god. Oh shit. This was I was dreading. Should I try to hug her/him? Ah, too far for a recovery hug!” You back away slowly smiling and waving and lie. “Hope I see you again soon. Bye!” And that was possibly the most straining conversation ever. Awkward encounters are always the damn same -_-.