You know whoever said ‘sticks and stones might break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ must have been deaf as a door nail. Words leave an everlasting impact on anybody, I don’t care how cold and tough you think you are. Words can pack a harder hit behind them then a punch and can knock the wind out of you just the same. Lately it seems like everyone’s words are just lashing at me from every direction. Lash all you want, draw blood…go ahead. At the end of it all I’ll still be standing because that’s what I do, I die and resurrect and come back stronger and wiser every time. I will be a better person a different person, everything is pretty obscure right now but it will all clear up eventually and I’ll be more sure then ever of what I want my life to be.
The saying is that ‘from great pain comes great pleasure’…if there is in fact a God I can only pray this is true. I will not live my life with resentment and hate in my heart, I will live it with gratitude and love for those that matter. I will not look back and think of what I could have done differently, I will look ahead and think of what I will do differently. I will not concern myself with other people’s life choices, I will worry about my choices and how they affect me and my kids…that’s it. I will give thanks for every second of this experience and take it for what it is…a hard life lesson that was given to me to make me the woman I know I can be. All hope isn’t lost…I’ve been dead for 7 months now. Nobody else will breathe life back into me but myself. Its time for this dark chapter to end and a new, brighter one to begin.