I know you’re out there and you can take as long as you need to find your way to me, I know it will happen at the right moment. You need to live life a little and experience heartaches and joys so that you can become a stronger man for me. You will be able to look back on your heart breaks and know first hand what it feels like so you won’t break my heart, I promise to do the same and make sure not to break yours.
I’ve been hurt beyond repair but its these scars that are forming me into the woman I am becoming so that I may be able to communicate with you and be understanding. I am weary right now and I’m sure for a long time to come, to open my heart up to anyone so I know that when it does happen it will be a love that will be new, untainted and real. I will know it’s you when I feel like I can finally breathe again. I will know it’s you when I don’t have to keep clutching myself together so that I don’t fall apart, you will be there to patch up the huge hole that was left in me. Most importantly, I will know it’s you when the loves of my life can look at you and realize that I am the love of yours and accept, understand and love you.
I’m not ready for you yet so I know that you’re not ready for me. I need to grow some more and live for me and my babies now so that I can have the satisfaction as a mother and as a woman of knowing that nothing I’ve experienced has been in vain and that I am where I’m supposed to be and headed to where I’m meant to be. This is the first of many letters but know that someday we’ll be together.