Chaos

If you knew about
The darkness
That is in my mind
Would you still see me
As a worthy cause?

Is this what crazy feels like? Like nothingness? Like a beehive of thoughts that are just there…so are the feelings, but they’re a constant buzzing in the background. I wonder if my mind just learned how to do that as a self preservation mechanism to avoid craziness? Perhaps. A chaotic mind isn’t a very pleasant thing to deal with, its taxing and ever so draining in every aspect possible. Letting good thoughts push through that chaos is laborious.

I’m not sure what I prefer, the nothingness or the consistency….i would say the nothingness i guess. Maybe I’ll change my mind when the alternate is a good one.  It’s fucking ridiculous how confusing things are in my head right now, i don’t like it.

Tangled mind

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